A Memorial Day Reflection


Every year, on the last Monday of May, we pause to observe Memorial Day—a sacred tradition of remembrance for the men and women who gave their lives in service to the United States of America. This day is not just marked on the calendar—it is etched into the earth beneath our feet and the stories that lie within it.

As we walk among headstones and flags fluttering gently in the wind, we are reminded that behind every name of a fallen soldier lies is a legacy of courage. Let us take a moment to look back at the conflicts that have shaped our nation, and reflect on the lives lost—men and women alike—in defense of our shared freedom. Hopefully this list never grows.

The American Revolutionary War (1775–1783)

The war that birthed our nation. Thirteen colonies stood against the British Empire in a struggle for independence.

  • Combat deaths: Approximately 8,000

  • Notable: Combat roles were male-only, but women served as spies, nurses, and camp followers. Some, like Deborah Sampson, disguised themselves to fight.

The War of 1812 (1812–1815)

Often called the “Second War of Independence,” this conflict with Britain tested the young republic’s resilience.

  • Combat deaths: About 2,260

  • Women in service: None in formal combat roles, but they supported the war effort in nursing and domestic support capacities.

The Mexican-American War (1846–1848)

This expansionist war saw U.S. forces engaged on foreign soil.

  • Combat deaths: Roughly 1,733

  • Women in combat: None officially. Women served in support roles in camps and hospitals.

The American Civil War (1861–1865)

Our nation’s bloodiest conflict, fought between North and South, brother against brother.

  • Union combat deaths: Approx. 110,100

  • Confederate combat deaths: Approx. 94,000

  • Women in combat: Several hundred women disguised themselves as men to fight. Thousands served as nurses.

The Spanish-American War (1898)

A brief but significant conflict marking the U.S. emergence as a global power.

  • Combat deaths: About 385

  • Women in service: Over 1,500 nurses served with the Army. No women in combat roles.

World War I (1917–1918 for U.S. involvement)

The “War to End All Wars” brought trench warfare and mechanized combat to the forefront.

  • Combat deaths: 53,402

  • Women killed in service: At least 3 U.S. Army nurses died from combat-related causes. Many others perished due to disease.

World War II (1941–1945)

The deadliest conflict in human history, involving every part of American society.

  • Combat deaths: 291,557

  • Women killed in service: 543 (including 16 from direct combat or enemy action, others from accidents and illness)

  • Over 350,000 women served in uniform in auxiliary and nursing roles; some served overseas in dangerous zones.

Korean War (1950–1953)

Often dubbed the “Forgotten War,” yet its cost was immense.

  • Combat deaths: 33,686

  • Women killed in service: 2 U.S. Army nurses died in theater; women served primarily in medical and support roles.

Vietnam War (1955–1975)

A divisive conflict that changed American society and the military forever.

  • Combat deaths: 58,220

  • Women killed in service: 8 (all nurses)

  • Approximately 11,000 military women served in Vietnam.

Persian Gulf War (1990–1991)

A brief but intense conflict to liberate Kuwait from Iraqi occupation.

  • Combat deaths: 149

  • Women killed in service: 15

  • This war marked the first time women served with men in a combat zone in significant numbers.

Iraq War (2003–2011)

A prolonged campaign involving intense urban warfare and insurgency battles.

  • Combat deaths: 3,836

  • Women killed in service: 110

Afghanistan War (2001–2021)

America’s longest war, waged across two decades against terrorism and insurgency.

  • Combat deaths: 1,910

  • Women killed in service: 132

Total U.S. Combat Deaths (from all wars):

  • Men: Over 1.2 million

  • Women: Over 400 killed by enemy action or in theater of war (more if including disease and non-combat deaths)

On Memorial Day, no matter who we are as Americans, we remember them all.

The young and the old, the drafted and the volunteered. The men who stormed beaches and the women who braved enemy fire to treat the wounded. Each grave I pass is a chapter in the story of American sacrifice.

As we lay flowers, raise flags, and lower our heads in silence on Memorial Day, may we do more than remember. Let us resolve to live lives worthy of their sacrifice.

In solemn gratitude,

The owners, managers, and staff of Martin Oaks Cemetery & Crematory


The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.
— Benjamin Disraeli




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